Wednesday, February 20, 2008

local news, etc.

i hate it.

so why do i continue to watch it? they talk about shit like "triad clash of the choirs," and feature jackasses who sing "amazing grace" instead of giving an actual interview. they SHOW the police video that got the guy arrested for animal abuse. they give props to wal-mart for "getting back to their roots" by slashing prices even further. they give an inordinate amount of air-time to the weather woman, who is lame with lame hair. (and the infamous "double doppler" is seriously not all it's cracked up to be.) i don't care that lottery ticket sales are up, and, yes, i know, the housing market sucks.

here are some important and pressing questions for you, local news:

why did my dog poop FOUR times today on our walk?

why can't they make pants the right length for my legs? (i'm 5'4'', this is not rocket science.)

how can a person go into target to buy tissues, and leave with $25 worth of stuff? (the car-ride-home speech-prep goes something like this: "can you believe this frame was only $3.74? and these socks were $2!!")

why is it so difficult to coordinate 10 people's schedules for a first-quarter novemberfest training session?

should i have had two glasses of wine before 5pm?

do i have to go to church choir tonight?

back at 11 with answers.


jessi said...

wow! note to self - to do piss off hannah. :) did you go to choir?

Brian and Hannah said...

ha, yes. :)

Careyanne Deyo said...

You crack me up! I thought news would get better up here, but there are still the same wackos who just like to be on camera, "I only met my neighbor once but she didn't seem like the kind of person who would do THAT!"